Here's the deal: I am deeply confused by life at this moment. One might ask, 'Aren't you always?" And the correct response to that is yes, I am. But right now I am as lost as ever. But lost isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Lately, I have been having dreams about people I know (and don't know), and then when I wake up those people happen to appear that day. Sometimes they're even the first people I see.
Lately, I've been writing more songs than have ever been possible for me to write in a year, all within the span of a couple months. This excites me. It also concerns me that every song is going to suck...which leads to the next interesting puzzle piece.
Today, just now in fact, Liz left for work and then came back immediately to deliver me a letter; there was no return address. I opened the letter and it was addressed: Dear Present Jake. The content of the missive was a small collection of encouraging ideas and personal meditations. The letter was written by Future Jake.
Now. I am not one for too much unreasonable foolishness, so I have to wonder who actually wrote this letter. I would love to believe that it is from my future self but I am certain that there is no hope for my handwriting, because whoever penned that letter writes neatly. This letter brings to my attention features of myself which I, while aware of them, try to either ignore or accept as fixed structures. Am I such a mess?
The most bewildering thing!? Liz's Grandfather gave me his old Crown Victoria yesterday. He gave me a car. It was his birthday yesterday too. How can anyone deserve such kindness and luck? How can such a debit be repaid to the universal store of energy? How can I live more graciously and gracefully?
Lately, I have been having dreams about people I know (and don't know), and then when I wake up those people happen to appear that day. Sometimes they're even the first people I see.
Lately, I've been writing more songs than have ever been possible for me to write in a year, all within the span of a couple months. This excites me. It also concerns me that every song is going to suck...which leads to the next interesting puzzle piece.
Today, just now in fact, Liz left for work and then came back immediately to deliver me a letter; there was no return address. I opened the letter and it was addressed: Dear Present Jake. The content of the missive was a small collection of encouraging ideas and personal meditations. The letter was written by Future Jake.
Now. I am not one for too much unreasonable foolishness, so I have to wonder who actually wrote this letter. I would love to believe that it is from my future self but I am certain that there is no hope for my handwriting, because whoever penned that letter writes neatly. This letter brings to my attention features of myself which I, while aware of them, try to either ignore or accept as fixed structures. Am I such a mess?
The most bewildering thing!? Liz's Grandfather gave me his old Crown Victoria yesterday. He gave me a car. It was his birthday yesterday too. How can anyone deserve such kindness and luck? How can such a debit be repaid to the universal store of energy? How can I live more graciously and gracefully?
No comments:
Post a Comment